Sunday, August 30, 2015

I.T. or The cat in the house

Enigmatic title, isn't it ?Well it is apt for the enigmatic person my child has become of late!

I.T. - not information technology but irritating teenager ! ....

......And you must be wondering why cat ? That relates to a whatsapp post I read a few days back ( an utterly hilarious and totally convincing post )" Children when very small are like pet dogs- loyal,loving, following you everywhere. But the moment they enter the teenage , they become like cats-Kings ( or Queens ) of their own world,looking at you disdainfully- " Who is this frumpy creature whom I call mummy ? " They used to sit in your lap a few days ago but now they hate when you pat their head- they either run away or worse still - bite you !"

My son ,he has a wacky and wicked sense of humor- he is also a great mimic -especially great at mimicking a certain preacher whose videos he watches on YouTube. Mimics his lisp brilliantly ! And ofcourse- his teachers-( Hope they wont read this ! )- the mannerisms of creative writing teacher, and the Great terror- the English teacher ! Sometimes I cheat on my diet and sneakily eat a ( not-so-tiny) piece of chocolate- he will tiptoe behind me and shout near my ears " HOW DARE YOU ? I AM WATCHING YOU !!" Hilariously describes how the notebooks of the first benchers get sodden during the math period....

As a teenager he has become very choosy about the food  ( but naturally - has become a junk food fan !) No longer wanting to eat simple food ,he demands exotic dishes and after having them cheekily comments" ये डिश मास्टरशेफ के लायक...." a loooooong pause....my face becomes anxious- what will he say now-" है !!!" Thank God ....the judge has loved my creation !

I remember one instance when while having food he said " Give me lead !"
"Lead?! He wants lead ?"When I looked totally confused,he replied ' Arrey ! Lead is Plumbum ( In Latin or Is it Greek ? Never mind...) Short-form is Pb- means pao bhaji- got it ? You don't know anything ! " ...... Oh my !!!

One should listen to his telephonic conversation " Hello ! " " Yes " " I did " " Geography " " Why ? " The person at the other end must be banging his head ! ( I forget- at the other end is also a teenager,so they are on the same wavelengths ! )

" Are you prepared for tomorrow's exams ?"
" What exam ? Do I have a paper tomorrow ? I don't know....wait....I will ask my friend "
My heart stops. I am about to shout at him when he quips  " I COULD have said that...but I am NOT going to ! I was just testing you ! You will be happy to know that I HAVE finished studying ...yesterday itself ! "

When his results come , they are much below expectation,( Mine....not his,he is happy because he scored more marks than 10 of his classmates ! ) his explanation is  whatever marks he has lost are due to'Standard Deduction'( I thought that applied to taxation ! )

His books ,notebooks are all over the place. When I arrange them neatly , he complains that he can not find anything anymore . His explanation is that there is a method to his madness ( Read : Chaos ) He insists that he is a genius and all geniuses are supposed to be extremely untidy !!

He is an aspiring author. He has written many stories ( actually a  page of each story ! ) . His fictional detective ( the one who must not be named!) has never got to solve any cases , simply because " A chilling / blood curdling scream ! Lights came on !"...and then..... nothing !! He gets his inspiration during the exams which fizzles out because I insist that he should study . ( which he agrees to do...albeit reluctantly ).After the exams other important things come up - football and cricket ! ...so , if world has lost on a great author the culprit is.....ME !!!!

But yes...one thing that makes me truly happy is his love for reading ! My whole house may be untidy but it is filled with books....books which appear and truly are well read ! As he has grown taller than me , he has also become more mature and responsible. He is a great company ( most of the times...at other times he is just an I.T.!)

I am proud of you, my boy ! Whatever you do in life , never give up the ability to laugh and be happy in most situations...Stay blessed !!