अमूर्त

आपलं नातं ......जगावेगळ .....शब्दापलीकडल.....

मी न मागण्याच ......

आणि तरीही तू  देण्याच .......

कधी एकांतात , निशब्द .....शांतता ऐकू येते .....

मला माहितीये .....ती तुझीच चाहूल असते .....

कधी वाऱ्याची  झुळूक स्पर्शून जाते ......

तीही तुझीच आश्वासक मिठी ......

काही लिहिते कधी .....जणू तुझ्याशीच बोलते .....

आणि तुझी उत्तरे .....

सापडतात मला ठायी ठायी ....

कधी एखाद्या पुस्तकात -

तर कधी त्या मूर्ख ठोकळ्यांवरील एखाद्या संवादात -

गुळगुळीत पानांच्या निरर्थक लेखातील एखाद्याच समर्पक वाक्यात -

प्रश्नाच्या आधी उत्तर ....असही होत कधी .......

पण तरीही , साशंक  , वेड मन .....

तुला ऐकू जात नाहीये - अशा विचाराने कासावीस होतं.....

धाय मोकलु लागत.....

मग कळत...इथेच आहेस तू .....माझ्या भोवती ......

पण माझ्या मनाची कवाडं बंद झालीत ......या अनाठायी भीतीपोटी.....

पुन्हा दीर्घ श्वास घेऊन....डोळे मिटून .....

आणि मनाची दारं उघडून ....

तुला शोधते ......

आणि तू खरच तिथेच असतोस , भेटतोस.....

कायमच ......

Self awakening..who am I ? ....Shehre zaat

The beautiful painting of Mahira Khan...Abida Parveen singing a mesmerizing song in the background…

Yaar ko humne jaa baja dekha…

Kahin zaahir kahin chhupa dekha…

Wherever I see there is only you….sometimes visible ...sometimes not...but I know ,  I feel it...it’s you !

Shehr e zaat is a very simple story... ( As they say ,  there are only a limited number of stories...rest all are variations of them ) a girl ( Falak ) falls for a man ( Salman ) she barely knows...gets married to him , only to be ditched by him for another woman .  We see Falak chasing Salman who doesn’t care about her...marries her because..well..you have to get married to someone . Falak is ready to sacrifice everything..her life...her dreams..her relations ..she literally worships the ground he walks on .She doesn't bring herself here...she tries to become what he wants. What is portrayed is a clinging - dependant relationship … “ who am I  ?.... ...Salman’s wife  ! “

Outwardly a simple story...but if  you peel the outer layers , you get to the inner , spiritual core. You also have to get past the hurdle of a religious , ritualistic layer...where most people would stop.

When her world crashes about her , she suffers a mental breakdown . Annihilation of older self and thus beginning of a newer one...rebirth . All her life , she was a superficial , rich , spoilt girl who cared only about external beauty , material things….she never had time for introspection or prayers . When the external layer is peeled off , what remains is a bare heart .

As the mist cleared ,  Falak became aware of many things...excess of things she had , futility of material possessions , and contrasting living conditions of lower classes . I was reminded of Buddha’s story here...witnessing of betrayal ( instead of illness ) , death , poverty.....and spiritual awakening .

When she finds prayer , she finds a way to communicate to God . Prayer is our communication while God communicates with us in different ways - through a book , through a movie , dialogue or sometimes through a person . What Falak experienced was a jolt into awareness - due to a crisis… causing her to confront the question  “ who am I ? “

We are not our face , our bodies...we are our hearts , souls….full of God’s love ...love for our fellow human beings...love for the universe created by Him .

Coming back to story , one question that has popped into everyone’s mind , what did Salman see in that other woman - a fat , dirty , ugly , nasty , uneducated ,old woman in contrast to his beautiful wife ? ….or was this just to show us that love is blind...or catastrophe can come in any form ?

The ending is a bit controversial - Falak decides to go back to her husband , believing in his repentance . It seems a bit impractical - to forgive somebody is easier from far but to go and stay with him , knowing he doesn’t love you and can desert you again …..a bit simplistic / stupid / unreal . Or is it that by forgiving him completely , she is gaining an upper hand in their equation ?

But if we see this from spiritual angle , the end appears apt . To forgive - to give a person another chance , to believe in sanctity of the relationship , to believe in goodness in his heart , while no longer believing him to be a perfect man is the only course possible...that is what God does .

Some people may think that bad things happened to Falak because she did not pray...but that is too simplistic ! A punishing God does not exist . A bad event happens in your life and that helps to open your heart and mind to God . You turn inwards...and after introspection know who you are . That was a turning point in Falak’s life and she began communicating with God !

Books I love .....MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING

MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING

DR.VIKTOR E. FRANKL

Ultimately all of us search for a meaning in life....why are we here ? What is the purpose of life ? Some go to temples , some follow a guru and some , like me , try to find the answers in a book.

While searching for answers , I stumbled across this little book somewhere along the way. I love this book , but , today , when I am trying to capture the essence of this book ...and trying to narrate why I love this book , I find the task truly herculean !

Dr.Frankl was born and educated in Austria where he worked as a neurologist and a psychiatrist in pre war ( WW 2 )  years. He was jewish and when the Nazis came into the power , he lost all he had. He spent three years in a concentration camp , only last few months as a ( helpless ) doctor.

This book , written in 1945 , is in part , a memoir of the days spent in the concentration camp. But we find that , the author does not dwell on the atrocities committed on him but more on the mental journey of the prisoner , from the day of arrival to the camp , to the day of liberation.

Given the same hardship and terrible living conditions , why is it that some people give up all hope and die while some never do ? It was this question Dr. Frankl pondered over and the answer he got lead him to devise a new school of psychotherapy - Logotherapy.

On entering the camp , everything was taken away from the prisoners - all possessions , identity ,  even hair . All inmates were equal - only a number . Over the days they developed a protective shell around them - by blunting of their emotions. But surprises never ceased - some of them even good - they never knew they had it in them - the inner strength , ability to survive without even basic amenities , ability to find humor and semblance of art in these bleak , hopeless days....." Man can get used to anything ( but don't ask us how. ) "

In spite of the living conditions , it was still possible for some inmates to have a rich , inner , spiritual life - it provided solace from the desolation , hopelessness . As Dr. Frankl says " Man may be influenced by his surrounding but , ultimately , no one can take away the last of human freedom - ability to chose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances ."

Some prisoners simply gave up and died , outwardly due to infections . But if there is no hope , even body immunity is affected .Dr. Frankl quotes Nietzsche " He , who has a why to live for , can bear with almost any how. . "

His experiences in the camp led Dr.Frankl to devise logotherapy - a new school of psychotherapy which is described in the second and third part of the book.

Logotherapy focuses on the future . Striving to find a meaning in life is the primary motivational force in a man. Meaning of life is not an abstract concept , it is unique and specific to a person and can change from time to time . Dr. Frankl gives three ways of discovering it....

1. Creating a work or doing a deed ( eg. Your daily work or job )

2. By experiencing something ( truth , beauty , goodness , art , culture , nature )

Or

By encountering someone ( love )

3. By attitude we take towards unavoidable suffering - If we can not change the circumstances , we change ourselves. If suffering is inevitable bear it bravely and with dignity .

In this modern age of automation , man has lots of time in the hand but nothing worthwhile to do - There is means but no meaning . Boredom is a modern age disease which ultimately can lead to various addictions.

Also ,a lot of preoccupation is seen with ' happiness ' - we see a many books and courses devoted to this topic -  but mental health needs certain amount of tension - between what one is and what one should become . What man needs is not a tension free state but a striving , struggling state towards a worthwhile goal . " Happiness like success can not be pursued , it has to ensue as a byproduct of one's dedication to a cause greater than ourselves ."

Originally the book was published as an autobiographical account - only the first part. In later editions , appendices describing the logotherapy were added. First few times I could read only the first part - enough to make me love this little gem of a book . Now that  I have read the entire book , I am even more in love with it. It may not answer all the questions but it answers many.

" Life holds a potential meaning under any circumstances , even the most miserable ones "

So.....never give up....say yes to life !!!

Written for #IndiSpire93

Your favourite book or author. How did it/he/she influence you? Why do you think others should read it/him/her?

A license to live : A seeker's journey to greatness by Priya kumar

This is the third book by Priya Kumar that I  read -previous two being 'I am another you ' and 'The perfect world ' I had liked both the books.

This book tells us story of Priya,a successful corporate guru...just like our author ( but not her- this is a work of fiction).Priya has everything in life but still feels that something is missing, She decides to take a life coaching seminar which takes her on a journey across the globe. It is not only a physical journey but also a spiritual one.She faces her own inner demons and her worst fears and emerges as a strong person thus earning a licence to live.

Ideas of taking a life coaching seminar,a spiritual journey and maintaining a personal growth journal are very very appealing.But..but ....only the  journal is practical .I have been maintaining a diary for last many years but it consists mainly of events and my vent outs- frustration .depression.negativity. This is a really wonderful idea of making it a growth journal-will definitely do it.

The greatest insights which I received from this book-

1.Most significant thing that the book tells us is to remain in Present.Let go of past and let go of fear of future. When we take responsibility for the present, we can learn from the past and change the future.

2.What you do every second of your life creates who you are.

3.You are your own guru.Ponder on your daily experiences and you can learn and grow.You are the question and you are your own answer.

4.All the people that you meet in this life shape you in one way or the other.

5. Whatever you direct your attention to will become real for you.

and so on.....

Well, some may feel that we know all this...yes but do we follow it ? Priya tells us this in a very interesting narrative.Story is good and she writes well.

Looking forward to more books by Priya Kumar....

And meanwhile....where did I keep my journal ???

See you soon....