Sunday, November 1, 2015

A contemplative piece about life ! किंवा सार - आयुष्याचे

Everybody should do an autobiographical review  of their lives...not at the very end , when you can not do anything but die , but every 5 or 10 years , after you achieve some kind of maturity...I suppose twenties would be right age. ( Sadly...I realised this twenty years too late ! )

You look back on major events , what you learned ,where are you now and where you want to go. Patterns begin to emerge ...patterns showing who you are . People tend to make the  same kind of choices , end up in similar situations and generally live same kind of life. If , any day , you wish to change your life , these reviews can help in picking up certain hints .

And why should you want to change your life ? If you are unhappy or unsatisfied , it is obvious that you will want to change your life . But even if you are satisfied , you may be doing the  same things everyday , facing similar problems - solving them using the same formula  , meeting similar kind of people , walking on the same path ....working on autopilot .

Learning and growing , taking on new challenges are the things which make you alive . ( And I mean good challenges...not struggling through red tape or futile attempts to change your short sighted , adamant superiors . ) , not easy life , full of material comforts .

I used to do a review , every year at the end of my that year's diary ( as a year that was - like the newspapers) , but it was a event based thing , and it was only of a year , not very useful in detecting patterns .

I recently did a review , and found out some really scary truth about myself ! Biggest of them is I was always a drifter - just went wherever my life took me , always taking the easy path . Life has been very kind to me in all respects and I also never tempted fate...never made any decisions thoughtfully...things always happened to me. Probably I was an unambitious , lazy , laidback sort of a person...chose my profession because it was the correct thing to do , chose my specialisation because that was the easier branch...passion never came into picture .

After 10 years of smooth sailing professionally , when I faced  problems , I had to take some major decisions . Decision to ( almost ) sit at home for 2 years , was not an easy one meant losing my identity and my money ....didn't know which was scarier . Now looking back , I think I could have used that time more creatively , instead of sinking into depression. It was actually a great time to learn things and to spend time which my child ( I did that...but I could have done better , ENJOYING is the keyword here ! ) professionally , my life was a wasted one before , but now it has changed to one of learning something new everyday ! I hope to improve it more , soon !

Alas ! What has happened has happened !

I will always be happy for my decision to start looking for my first job at the age of 39 years , though I had doubts , that it is too late for a first job , I didn't allow that to stop me .

Somewhere along the way , I discovered that I can sing  well . So I started taking classes.I used to sing before , but lacked confidence ...I thought training formally would give that...and yes , it has worked !

Writing  was a natural extension of my love of reading . I used to write pages after pages in my diary , but never considered it as writing . When blogs started , rather , when I knew about blogs , I tried to start one....after several attempts , I was successful this year , not of starting one , but to resist all attempts of deleting it and finally finding courage to show it to people .

The greatest fear I faced in this journey was the fear of rejection...I still face it everyday . But I am learning to overcome it so that I can become more of who I am.

Everyone has an unlimited potential , trick is to realise it early as possible ! I won't say ,I am super successful ( though there are people who consider me a superwoman ! ) . Try new things , try whatever you want to . Do not limit yourselves , do not let your education or profession hamper you in any ways . Do not be scared of anything...lest people ! It is you who has to do it . Open your mind , become all that you can be , destroy those mental walls which you think are your boundaries . As this new day begins , feel the tug of future , of possibilities.

Be happy !

Be free !!!

NB : - I must give credit to somebody who inspired this piece , So thanks BrainMan !!